My Dear John Letter
by ImogenSapphire
Summary: Set in Paris, loosely based on the 'Dear John' letter that Jenny writes to Gibbs when she leaves him.


Title: My Dear John Letter

Fandom: NCIS

Pairing: Jibbs [Jenny/Gibbs]

WordCount: ~1500

Rating: T

Disclaimer: I do not own NCIS, or any of its characters… I just take them out to play every now and then.

Summary: Set in Paris, loosely based on the 'Dear John' letter that Jenny writes to Gibbs when she leaves him. Note, that _italics _is the letter the rest is Jenny's thoughts…

_Jethro,_

She watches him across the bullpen, his forehead creased into a frown as he copies notes from the case file. This case has not been kind to either of them - serial killers are the hardest to catch, they're evasive, smart and cunning. She's still a probie, this is her first serial killer case and the whirl of activity and tension around the office is confusing.

"Shepard!" The sharp voice cuts through her reverie, she looks up to see a pair of ice cold eyes staring down at her.

He stares at her with a slight look of amusement as she fumbles with the papers strewn across her desk, half of them falling onto the floor, the other half had the misfortune of being drenched with her coffee.

"Oh, I am so sorry boss… I got the address somewhere here…" She dabs at the split coffee as she peels a post-it off the side of her computer screen… "This one."

Gibbs gives her a pointed glare "Shepard… apologies?"

"Right… Never apologize, it's a sign of weakness."

He picks up his jacket from his desk and strides towards the elevator, she watches him, her head tilted in admiration.

"Shepard!" He cocks his head to the space next to him in the elevator.

Her face breaks into a grin as she grabs her firearms and runs after him into the elevator.

_I don't know when 'we' happened as such; it seemed to happen so fast… but, in actuality it took weeks, months before you even accepted me as part of the team, let alone your partner._

He jerks his head to the left, indicating that she should take the back. She nodded in response, her red bangs falling over her eyes. She holds her gun down at her thigh as she slips around back, her back against the wall. This was what it had boiled down to, months of hunting down this man… this man who had killed his wife, his daughter and his son… all for the insurance money. She hears blood rushing through her ears, feels accelerating 'thumps' against her ribcage.

"Ready…" At the sound coming through her earpiece, she holds her gun up to the door, waiting for the sound of the door being kicked down.

The sound of splintering wood is followed by a row of gunshots, 'Boss' was all that went through her head as she slams against the hard wooden door. She raises her gun up to shoulder level; she yells something that to date she does not remember. She fires, once, twice, three times. And the man before her crumples to the floor. The other agents rush to secure the suspects gun, and to check him for a pulse. They look up and shake their heads.

She's still holding up her gun, looking down in shock and horror, it's her first kill. He comes next to her and removes her weapon from her stiff hands.

"You had to do it. Good Shot."

_You're my first partner, but as far as partners go, you must be one of the best. You're also my first mentor, but as far as mentors go, I know that I got the best one that NCIS could have ever offered me._

They stand next to each other awkwardly, the director reading a file that was in front of him.  
>"Agent Gibbs" he paused and turns to look at her, taking in her appearance "Shepard." He returns to the file before proceeding to speak "I have an undercover operation that needs to be run. Our agency is rather… short on staff, so our board has decided to send to both of you to Paris. Agent Gibbs, I do not doubt you efficiency in completing this operation, but I do require you to keep an eye on this probie of yours." He points to her with slight disdain "It is uncommon for us to send… a woman on such covert operations, but as this mission requires our agents to pose as a married couple and since Shepard is currently our only qualified agent… we hope that you will complete this op with as little fuss as possible. Understood?"<p>

She opens her mouth to protest against the sexist comment, but is silenced by the cold blue eyed stare.

"Good, Agent Rivers will brief you." The director gestures to a short man standing in the corner.

_Paris was something that neither of us planned on happening. I never planned on going undercover, but till this date, it is not something that I regret. It is something that I am undoubtedly glad happened, because it brought be closer to you, closer to one of the few people that I trust with my life._

She twists the silver band on her finger. 'I'm married' she thought to herself, almost laughing at the irony of the words. So far being married was not half as bad as the average housewife made it out to be, it was rather… enjoyable.

"Jen?" She looks up from wedding band, only to be faced with a pair of pale blue eyes staring right back at her.

"Nothing, just… being married is a weird concept." He flashes her a rare smile and places a calloused over hers.

"Well then, you'd better get used to it."

She smiles back and lifts her eyes to look at the Paris nightscape, listening to the sound of traffic, the murmur of voices and the whistling wind coming together into a perfect symphony.

_At times, I wish that Paris was real. That we were really Jennifer and Jethro Martin, that we really met at an art gallery, that you really did propose to me at the Eiffel Tower, that we were married, that we were really in love._

"Good Job, the both of you." The director commends them, though his voice is indifferent, the words themselves make Jenny glow with pride. "Due to your previous success, SecNav has asked for the both of you to run a larger op. You'll be back in Paris, but this time we're sending two other agents with you, to ensure your safety."

Gibbs frowns slightly, and opened his mouth to object, but before he could make out his first word. The director lifts up his hand and waves them out of his office.

"You're scheduled to leave in two days; Agent Rivers will read you in."

_After the first op in Paris, the rest passed in a blur… we were in country after country, sharing room after room, making love in bed after bed. I will never forget those times, times which there was no reality, where nothing mattered other than living to see another day. I miss those days._

It is the day before they are to return to America. They sit across from each other; the food in their plates remain untouched. She reaches out to him first, lacing her fingers through his. And they just sit, for almost a whole hour, in comfortable silence, both willing for time to stop.

"Jethro…" She speaks first, breaking the world of stillness that had settled around them.

"Jen," He cuts her off, reaching into his jacket pocket, he pulls out a small box and opens it. "Marry me."

She stares at him in utter shock, the world going silent. She wants to cry, to pour out all the pain that she had been feeling over the past few days. Her eyes flit from the ring to his face and back again. She lifts out her hand and closes the box, the thud echoing a hundred times louder than it was supposed to be.

"I love you Jethro…"She pauses and looks up at him, for a second she sees the hurt in his eyes. But it was replaced by a sheepish grin.

"Well, it was worth a try."

_I should not have said no. I should have just nodded and have to put that ring on me. But I couldn't, what we have had here, it is not real. It is an undercover op, it is a relationship based solely on the need for human contact, and it can't be love._

It is their last night, and under the covers they make love. Whisper words of affection, murmur words of commitment and sigh each other's names. Once they are finished, they curl together, enjoying the residual high. He falls asleep before her, and he doesn't notice the tears streaming down her face or her climbing out of bed nor her getting dressed and pulling the suitcase out of the room.

She walks out of the hotel into the rain, praying that she made the right choice, praying that she had not just made the biggest mistake of her life.

_Every couple has their moment, I'm sorry that I made us miss ours. This has been the best 6 years of my life._

_Goodbye Jethro._


End file.
